oh! sweet surrender!
every morning when i wake up, i surrender my dreams. i’m coaxed open by the sun streaming in through the slits of the shutters and the once dark interior space is replete with light.
i linger in that sweet spot – the dark, vast room behind my eyes that’s yet to fill with lists and plans or the injustices carried over from the day before; i linger here as long as i can, before my eyes unfold and i spill into the day.
there appears to be some line between sleeping and waking, a cognitive shift from psyche to mind carried along the wave of consciousness. it feels like two cups, each pouring its contents into the other – between the body that carries ‘me’ and the awareness that holds ‘all.’
the truth is, it’s all just a jumble of thoughts, emotions and words – some egoic hocus pocus trick that has momentarily bedazzled our attention and claimed our identity.
with eyes open, we believe that we are awakening from the dream, when rather, we are falling into sleep — into a hypnotic state.
ah! but, do not be deceived by the mind — the ego wants you to believe that you are separate – that there is a line. but, it just ain’t so my brothers and sisters! there is only one continuous canvas with rising formations – objects or images, it’s all energy – one plane.
how do we know this? because all we have to do is close our eyes. and, when we do, we’re confronted with boundless, alive conscious space – there is no inside or outside when it comes to consciousness – it’s all the universe.
YOU are the universe!!
let’s be real. most of us don’t walk around thinking ‘i am aware’, yet, we are awake. if you weren’t you wouldn’t be able to read this or have a conversation. being awake is your birthright – what buddhists call buddha nature – our inherent cognitive power. though, you may sense ‘this is my body’ or ‘this is where and who i am’, there is something beyond the sensations.
what are you?
what makes this confusing is the fact that consciousness is kind of difficult to describe, mostly because it’s ungraspable – not defined by subjective reality or phenomenon – the things that appear which are characterized by location, measurement, mass, texture – the stuff that the body and mind can sense – the stuff that fits neatly into the equation.
most of us take things personally at every level – being separate and grasping onto identity and thoughts. but the truth is that we don’t have to possess things or hold onto them or get rid of them. all we have to do is let go of the story and be present with whatever we are experiencing – HERE – NOW.
this is important because awareness changes your world and the process of change requires you becoming conscious of your unconscious self. but this mind, geez o pete, it keeps us stuck in the equation with no possibility of glimpsing our capacity.
awareness allows us to view our patterns and our beliefs. the skill is in learning how to pay attention to the stillness that is inside of you, and, when you do that, all movement and confusion around you falls away.
so, how do we get here? to this space of absolute stillness?
you’re already here! just surrender.
surrender means showing up and doing the work – being honest and clear about what needs to be done. knowing that ‘my life looks like this because of the effort and attention i have given it’ – not falling asleep or blaming some separate outside source for your situation. when your eyelids open and form comes flooding in, you need to put forth some effort and be fearless.
that means some deep mind lunges, which can be uncomfortable, so be prepared to be uncomfortable – be prepared for resistance. because, let me tell ya’ this thing up here wants the boundary, likes form and shrouds itself and everything around you in its veil.
but, when your eyelids are closed and you are in the sacred space of arising clarity and non-judgment, you will see the subtle energy of shadows and the stories that they carry, the ones that you have outgrown (the ones to which your ego clings) and you can let them go, too!
so, go ahead … surrender!
surrender totally to loving and living – to cultivating self so you can reach your potential.
surrender to having to know what is coming up next or to control every thing around and ahead.
surrender to the inevitability of your humanness – the weakness of this flesh and the puppeteering of this mind – to the truth behind the narrative voice that is bullying your will.
surrender the thoughts and beliefs that hold you hostage and trust your gut and your instinct, taking stock in the union and bond of innate intelligence.
surrender to the tender part of every moment – whatever it holds – to the sweet fragrance of presence and also to the consciousness that can slice through it with precision.
surrender and savor life like a succulent peach – taste it all with curiosity and wonder, for, if you are here, reading these words, there is something that you are very aware of, a peep hole of light that is saying…
come closer, there is something more.
**for more information on consciousness check out:
douglas harding: the headless way: http://www.headless.org/
scott kiloby: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwAVOYVMac
fred davis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3CB0Twij7o