Journey of an Empty Boat.

There is a beautiful story by Thich Nhat Hanh about a man in a boat and taking things personally.

“A man was rowing his boat upstream on a very foggy morning. Suddenly, he saw another boat coming downstream, coming straight at him. He shouted, “Be careful! Be careful!” but the boat came right into him, and his boat almost sank. The man became very angry, and started to shout at the other person, giving him a piece of his mind. But when he leaned in and looked closely through the mist, he saw that there was no one in the other boat. It turned out that the boat just got loose and went downstream. And, in an instant, all his anger vanished, and he laughed and he laughed.”

Has that ever happened to you?

The way we take things personally, but then realize that we are the ones assuming, filling in, and making up the hurtful story - like smiling at someone and then having them give you a look and turn around and thinking, “WTF!”? What does it take to recognize that that person may have been in a thought that didn’t include me? … and that though their boat was near, it was empty! … they were in their own “thoughts”, not even aware of my own.

It’s hard!

It’s hard not to get pissed off with the guy giving Bill the finger in the car behind us that wants us to move faster - it’s hard not to take personally a friend that imposes their judgment on me - it’s hard when I feel like I have to navigate around all the other boats that might crash into me … when I am vigilant about this body called, ME.

This discomfort lets me know that I need to try harder at recognizing when I am hurting myself when I believe that I am a boat and that someone else is banging on me. But these experiences are precious gifts - they are not to be discarded or shamed. They let me know that I need to cultivate a little more patience, compassion, and clarity for those parts of me that feel hurt or angry and to recognize that others are having similar experiences.

Without awareness, we’re just dragging around an empty boat while we follow each other, reacting when the currents cause us to collide!

And, being engaged in the stories of others hurts our souls, shuts out any other perspective, cuts us off from wisdom, and offers a merciless future.

Every time I feel angry or jealous or anxious or whatever feels uncomfortable, I ask, “Who is lost?” This seems to open up a vast new world - as if the question is desiring company, a direction, an intention, a map - and for me, it is found in the Greek Orthodox Cross:

Forehead, Agios o Theos [Holy Father]

Heart, Agios o Ishiros [Holy Intention]

Right Shoulder, Agios Athanatos [Holy Eternal]

Left Shoulder, Elaison Eimas [Have mercy upon us]

Here, the Father represents the rising energy of thought-leading and safekeeping its family - the child, the purity of its intention - the right shoulder the wisdom of the past, and the left, the inevitability of mercy for His family.

As a person, your thoughts define your body of experience. As a father, they define the passageway of your children (the family that you will manifest). As a husband, they define whether you will repeat the past relationships that have defined your own childhood. And, as a child of God, they define whether you feel His embrace or fear His wrath.

This causes us to ask: What is the quality of my thought?

If they are fearful (doubting, angry, bitter, wrathful, blaming), the Father imposes tyrannically. If they are loving (hopeful, curious, compassionate, forgiving, caring, conscious), Father rules humbly, and ushers child to wisdom. If we process through lies, our fate is merciless. If we process through wisdom, Father reveals the safe passage to mercy.

But, you don’t have to be a father to see what I am pointing toward - that the intention of your thought - perspective, and quality - determines your destiny, and that being conscious of this relationship determines your fate.

As poet-writer David Whyte shared through his book, Crossing the Unknown Sea, we must cultivate the muscles that can safely captain us across what is unknown - to be with those moments of anger, confusion, and unknowing, and to respond with care, curiosity, and even humor - and to allow wisdom to serve us in reaching our destiny and purpose.

This was just one of the most inspiring reads of my life - it speaks to the soul! (Click here)

A gem for graduates seeking to land and a must for a fearful ego needing to forgive, to be free of anger, and instead, to have compassionate thoughts devoted to actions of LOVE -

to be that love~