I AM Breathing for Freedom

As I peered into the sky last night, I was overtaken by the countenance of the Winter Solstice - silent, dark, and still with promise. It all seemed to coincide with the first snowfall of winter, and, with my mother's increasing frailty and shortening breath.

Death is near.

The breath is a swinging door of freedom. Its nature demands that we hold onto nothing and be present for the great cycle of existence. As my student revealed, "to hold the stress of all that we don't process at the moment" is that which keeps us hostage in a past carried by memories and emotions and that which shuts the door on the future.

She offered a clue: being alive is a process, the relationship between flow and cycle.

Beliefs are like the parental breath of the mind. And, when they try to control how the exhalation will look or feel - to impose their will (thoughts) upon their world (their child) - that's when a force inside starts pumping our legs - to get away from 'who' they think we are -- it's angry, it's defiant, it's instinct!

It has a voice and it says, "I am not who you think I AM!"

I am the one that soars. I am limitless, infinite, powerful, abundant, complete from the start, creator of all.

In the process of creation, we're allowed to push off of our parents, we can jump in and let gravity pull us deep down into the ocean, or we can allow grace to let us rise to meet what waits for us at the surface - all the stuff that we think, feel, say, do, believe, etc. When we allow the force to 'meet' us, to 'welcome' us, we can resonate what we learned from the temporal journey on the way to the surface named, ME - the 'one' that carries the seed of purpose - and we can do it from many altitudes, through many atmospheres.

It's when we try to hold onto something (to hold the breath or to forcibly expel the breath) that problems arise - to be right, to be wrong, to be happy, to be certain, to be some object of the breath. This action is absolutely impossible, for to be any 'one' (inhalation or exhalation) is to be excluded from being infinite.

When the mind is taxed - "Who am I?", it is deprived of the spark of life, believes in the impossible task of defending or preserving the space (which is infinite and unconditional). And, the moment we 'de'fend, is the moment we have disconnected from Absolute Truth - let's call it Love - because that which we defend is already in the past. This is the fearful reaction of a mind that isn’t aware – doesn’t understand - and which has forgotten the truth confirmed by the intelligence and integration of mind, body, spirit: I am.

Space includes everything, and so, this conversation is the call of atonement - of the mind to gain access to the wisdom of soma – through our experiences, through the people we meet, and the conversations we have -- it demands that we feel our feet on the ground of aliveness – to remember that which comes before the action or observation – to prioritize.

Memories are stored in how we interpret the meaning of emotions, and beliefs carry predictions. In essence, not being curious nor challenging beliefs is the greatest predictor of the future. You can be sure that it will appear exactly the way you remember it.

Without this awareness, we have the agency of a child yet to understand the construction and differentiation of form - frustrated because they can't balance a triangle on a circle. This is the relationship between water and air – it defies conformity and when allowed to come together to serve the ‘whole’, they carry Truth.

If Truth (absolute) and trust (limited) is the ultimate destination, then as human beings, our effort is in training attention (diaphragm) to relax its aperture to receive as much new information (breath) as necessary and possible (within temporal limits before being distorted by habits, beliefs and the human drama from which we are collectively woven).

This is the beating heart circulating oxy(sharp spark) gen(producing life) - a chisel to the stone that awakens the slave.

Nothing esoteric about this. But believe me (though it's the supreme 'job' of every human being this life to find out for ourselves) this life is not about learning how to be what some external force wants us to be - worrying about why others feel the way they do about us or what the outside world wants from us.
It's a time of waking up and recognizing - "Shit, there's more to this breath than I ever imagined!" No biggie - no sin - just didn't realize.

I felt the same way recently, as I learned the practice of Kundalini breathing. It is the practice of deepening the breath in ways that directly connect us with the infinite flow of Prana - our shared life force. Like our history, when we are present in this cycle, we cannot escape the Source of its wisdom and strength.

So begin to explore the True Power of the Breath and practice the Kundalini breath:

Inhale Belly - lower abdomen - sacral and root
Inhale Chest - solar plexus and heart
Exhale Mouth - communication and release (don't force it, just let it spill out:-)

Take care not to hyperventilate, notice resistance in the breath, notice the thoughts that want to pull you away, notice that the body will meet you in the rhythm all on its own.

And, in the meanwhile, challenge what you believe is true by allowing space for other information to rise:
trust that what is rising is ready to be found - ready to move through you - ready to be transformed.

In the space of doing so - you connect with freedom, and this is also a gift for you from your Self. It's kinda' like the way releasing this blog helped to free me to appreciate my dad during this stressful time; instead of being upset with him (because he cannot be on the surface with ME) I am quiet and still with potential at the bottom of an ocean of despair. I don't get lost in a story about what he isn't and have gratitude for who he has always been and how who he is has helped me push out into the world.

All this, from one breath.