i had no face today. suddenly, life came over me and i arrived in every color!
every thursday, between 12 and 1 pm i gather online — ‘face to no face’ – with an eclectic group of loving, kind, inclusive, everyday people. we cometo remind each other what’s often so hard to see — this right here right now ‘full up’ world!
“headlessness” is unity – a non-dual practice conceived by philosopher, teacher and writer, douglas harding. if you’ve ever heard him speak, you understand … it’s impossible to ignore his demand to recognize our innate capacity: “i’ll be damned if I live and die without ever looking to see who is doing that. it’s not worthy of you—is it—it’s not worthy of you to do that.” it’s his friend and student, richard lang, who appears weekly to remind us, “i am space for the world!’
space and the world! me?!
being capacity for the world is another way of saying ,”i’m here completely.” i feel these feet on the ground and i trust the grace of that which is more than me. it’s a wide open, no lines separating you from anything else, direct experience.but, this is no ‘effect’ of some ’cause’ – some missing ‘part’; it’s freedom.
what ‘is’ but cannot be experienced?
the experiment begins with simple, curious exercises – just pointing toward the objects around us – noticing that everything that we can point to is conditioned and dependent … noticing the relative and impermanent qualities to which this outer world must conform. we look, feel, intuit – are here in all ways that include all meaning, but which have no condition. and, when we do, we’re perfectly ok.
still, it’s hard to see life ‘as it is’.
without awareness, all the stories and identities of experience come together and lead us to believe that we are the ‘result’ of this ’cause’, and we suffer. we suffer because we believe there’s someplace else to be or that someone else has it better. we suffer because we believe we’re separate, just like the objects we’re pointing to.
however, when we relax this idea of who we think we are, and stoke attention, we see clearly; we arrive lit by the ‘tension’ of vitality – inspired by a need to ‘tend’ to this natural way of embodying life – aware that the tighter the grip, the more we constrict, and the less natural and the less present we become.
this is important – to see life clearly.
when we challenge objectifying beliefs using the theoretical methods that support them – pointing, ‘book, floor, chair, knee, chest – ‘bam!’ we inevitably arrive at the vast space called ‘my face,’ and what we thought was ‘true’ and ‘real’ is blown out of the water!
there’s no denying!
this non-verbal, direct experience makes clear that who and what we’re pointing to is not conditioned, not measurable, and not of the senses,but through, because of and beyond the senses. the first time i ‘arrived’, i jumped right out. i was terrified! this body and this young mind glimpsed what it thought was death.
and, in a way it was; it was the death of an impermanent, conditioned identity amidst the simultaneous birth of infinite possibility – shakti and shiva! i was seeing.
seeing is like a light calling you near, and when you approach it, you realize that you’re the light.
we are the same, no matter!
this conditioned world is like a prism. this body and these senses come together and disperse this seeing – this light – and when it comes out the other side, it comes out in the form of a rainbow: red, yellow, orange, green, blue, indigo and violet!
… it pours.
and, though the colors appear separate, if we were to look closely, we would see that there’s no real line or boundary between each. and, as we began to understand the composition of color deeper still, we would recognize that one could not exist without the other – that the mechanism that dispersed the color can also serve to bring it together – that we are the same, no matter!
without correction, the belief that we’re objects will overcome us: we will become caught in the samsara of denial – a triangle struggling to be a square – a yellow trying to be blue – fearful of being formless because that would make us less, wrong, unworthy!
so, why are we so desperately wanting to fill the form of someones else’s story ‘of us’ or ‘for us’?
all this forgetting that we’re everyday people of one rainbow – this need to draw the line and to be different and to be special – splits us, and makes it appear as if we have no choice but to defend our difference. to defend is to constrict and assume color, and, i wonder, ‘can any color assume another color outside its own destiny? can identifying with color be the cause of this loneliness?’
to suddenly ‘see’ with all this body is an action on behalf of the whole! when we open up to the perspective of other colors, we become more vibrant, and then the grip on our differences relax. color is no longer the object of experience, rather experience passes through our color.
“my face is your face. your face is my face. my love is your love. your love is my love.”
i’m not trying to make you see some way of being – i’m just starting to believe. i’m starting to believe in everyday people. i’m starting to believe that there’s a new story to be told. i’m starting to believe we have a choice on how we want to feel.
and, speaking this experience that i know, of which you’re an integral part – challenging you to question your beliefs about who you really are and about what is possible – is how i remember.
you don’t have to believe it, just imagine! red, yellow, orange, green, blue, indigo, or violet.
but don’t get lost in any color – don’t limit yourself on who you are continuously becoming. and if you forget, point to the vast space that’s seeing with all your body of being, and remember, ‘there’s no color attached to this.’
and when you do, you will become this. and you will reflect this to the world. and we will finally become this.
but, don’t take my word for it, “look for yourself!”
Where does one thought end and the other begin? … one heart, one soul, one face?
I share my deepest gratitude to all who show up willing to participate in this grand scheme of awareness! All that I am is because of this arrival – every word, every thought, and every connection coming together here as a testament to the power of love.