in the past 51 years i have failed — a lot!
i have failed 9th grade gym and many friendships. i have failed in love and with too many diets. i have failed to pay attention on the road and where i was going. i have failed my parents trust and being a ‘good mother’, and, in the face of anger, resentment and fear, i have failed my self.
all that failure sure didn’t feel good – it was out-and-out painful!
what i remember most, though, is the pain of repeating my mistakes – not paying attention to what my body and spirit were saying, and yielding too much reverence to the default setting of my mind – my ego in particular and the fixed story that continued to make me fail. buddhists call this pattern samsara – being caught in the cycle of birth and death – sounds like some sort of cyclone! and it is powerful as we are swept up into the maelstrom of emotion that impedes us from paying attention to the details and information that can lead us to a new destiny, falling, instead, repeatedly into the crack of failure and pain.
don’t misunderstand me, the mind is ever so powerful. neuroscience has catalyzed a whole new view and understanding of our brain, and, most impressively, has illuminated the power of our heart as well.
brain and heart – together they make a mighty team!
the key to this team work is the quality and distribution of our energy. if ninety percent of our consciousness is trapped in the ego, then imagine the possibilities we could access if we were to awaken that consciousness – if we could modify the energy trapped in the ego and redirect it!
the ego, meh! the ego on steroids is like audrey ii in little shop of horrors – insatiable. this is the tough stuff – breaking free from the habit of wanting to be right and sticking to one story – avoiding life out of fear of failure, which, i may add, completely eliminates the possibility of, well, anything!
so, here we are on this very momentous day and it’s no secret that our country is polarized – there is much anger, resentment and fear and everyone feels that they are on the ‘right’ side. and i get that. when we feel unseen and unheard, that voice inside says, “wtf!” … i matter!
the difficulty here is that we all believe we are right, so, where do we unite? in that space where there is no right and wrong – in a space of forgiveness and compassion — hope. in the space where unity and peace are constant. in our heart of hearts. in the space where we matter.
which brings me to the challenge. what would life be if not for the challenge? flat. white. predictable and stagnant. as human beings we are not meant for stasis – we have many evolving stories – we are here to move, grow, learn and transform. when we arrive without the ego – let go of the story – that is when the lesson begins, and when we allow ourselves to experience all that failure offers, then we trust and then we can take a chance and walk into the unknown.
this is what life is all about – taking a chance!
i’m willing to do that, how about you?